Mental Vault

Deep within the mind, locked away in a vault, there resides something quite precious and valuable: namely, our most secretive intimacies and inclinations. Behind an impenetrable wall, we keep hidden our feelings for those who surround us, our inklings about the world around us, and our fears of the woes that curse us. Share none with anyone, because some with someone can lead to unthinkable vulnerabilities and destructive emotional conundrums; something to be avoided, entirely: an unnecessary complication.

Residing safely within the vault of one’s mind shall ensure immunity from all external forces; when out in public, say nothing; when asked a question, say little; and when asked to be a friend, just ignore them altogether. Keep hidden those vulnerabilities, because members in the community have dubious intent; they want to take advantage, manipulate, and control one’s vulnerabilities. Thus, if we never leave the safety of our vault, then we can roam freely and with impunity.

But what if we were wrong? What if, amongst that ever so varied community, there was a member who had never had malicious intent, a member who just wanted to connect? To come out from the safety found in one’s vault and make vulnerable one’s self to another, to attain that rather pleasant beauty of intimate connection. But is that possibility worth the attempt? dare I leave these walls which I spent much effort and time building so as to avoid and circumvent the world beyond the vault? Make vulnerable the self yet again?

Weighed against the pain and misery of the past, we may ignore the possibility and remain fastened to the vaults of our minds. Forever dancing by ourselves in a box. But if we accept the inevitability of pain and misery, that we shall always fail in some way or other, then we can entertain the possibility of another. That beautiful outcome where two come together and build a rich connection with each other.

Faced with these decisions, what does one do?




$20,000. That is what I wasted on university before realizing my passion is just to read, write, and think.

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